October 04, 2012

If Gandhi Were Alive

Let’s consider a few fun possibilities that would occur if Gandhi were around today.
  1. What would happen to all the self-proclaimed Gandhians? Would Gandhi be in favour or opposed to Anna Hazare?
  2. What would Gandhi do with lying lawyers like Kapil Sibal or tendentious toadys like Digvijay Singh?
  3. May be Gandhi would go on an obligatory spin in the skies in the Sukhoi and the LCA Tejas.
  4. Would Gandhi have been miffed at Pokhran II àIndia’s famed nuclear tests of 1998? May be he would have gone on a fast unto death. And how would the glacially moving poet Vajpayee have reacted to that?
  5. Though he was lean and thin, still Gandhi would need a knee-cap replacement surgery at this age.
  6. Would Gandhi hum along with the catchy Kolaveri D tune or criticize it as nonsense … somewhat like … err … Javed Akhtar?
  7. May be Gandhi would have preferred Gangnam Style and we would all be seeing a YouTube video of him dancing merrily.
  8. Would Gandhi be for Narendra Modi or against him?
  9. How would Gandhi have dealt with or liked the nation to deal with the multiplying members of our House of Infamy à the Kalmadis, Rajas, coal-kings, and other assorted industrialists, corporate scammers, politicians, dalal-bureaucrats, etc.?
  10. What would Gandhi say about the love for the good life that some Indians have developed – the multi-crore apartments and multi-crore supercars. Not to mention a 30-story home built to house one family.
  11. How would Gandhi weigh in on the current global hot conflicts à the Japan China boxing over those tiny uninhabited islands and the steaming hot tension over Iran’s nuclear ambitions or ambiguities.
  12. What about contraception? Mother Teresa and the Vatican Popes are all against using any type of contraception since they consider sex as a means to procreate and procreation and conception to be in god’s hands à thus making the use of contraception something which puts a spanner in god’s work. Where would the traditionalist Gandhi stand on that?
  13. What about Gandhi’s three famous monkeys? May be they would have names today à say, Tiwari, Sibal, Singhvi, and such. And their motto would be: speak evil, see evil and listen to evil.
  14. Lastly he would be way too old @ 144 years.

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