I wish I had the voice of Homer To sing of rectal carcinoma, Which kills a lot more chaps, in fact, Than were bumped off when Troy was sacked. Yet, thanks to modern surgeon’s skills, It can be killed before it kills Upon a scientific basis In nineteen out of twenty cases. I noticed I was passing blood (Only a few drops, not a flood). So pausing on my homeward way From Tallahassee to Bombay I asked a doctor, now my friend, To peer into my hinder end, To prove or to disprove the rumour That I had a malignant tumour. They pumped in BaS0 4 .