Rumi Nations

And how and why it makes no sense to keep polygamy illegal. This article dismantles all the usual arguments against polygamy. Some people make the "slippery slope" argument saying allowing polygamy will lead to people marrying animals or children but the difference is the 'bedrock principle' of consent. "This bedrock principle of mutually-informed consent explains exactly why we must permit polygamy and must oppose bestiality and child marriage. Animals are incapable of voicing consent; children are incapable of understanding what it means to consent. In contrast, consenting adults who all knowingly and willfully decide to enter into a joint marriage contract, free of coercion, should be permitted to do so, according to basic principles of personal liberty. The preeminence of the principle of consent is a just and pragmatic way to approach adult relationships in a world of multivariate and complex human desires." " ...  the case against pol...

Einstein was so unlucky. He never saw Koffee With Karan. Or the wonderful strokemaking by the Sehwags, Tendulkars and Yuvrajs. But we are all lucky. We have spent countless hours and hundreds of hours watching celebrities and cricket on television. I suspect our interest in these activities wanes as our age (and waistline) increases. May be we realize that these are futile, time-wasting activities — or, may be we encumber ourselves with various responsibilities such as kids and we get busy making a living and buying groceries, masalas and vegetables and do not find time in our long commutes to watch celebrity talk shows. Some people — say, Feynman, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs — perhaps get lucky and never spend time watching TV shows or cricket. But everybody cannot be geniuses like them. Every new generation in India reliably grows to become cricket aficionados and becomes celebrity-crazed. Is there a cure for this? Is there a way to wean adolescents from adolescent-like activiti...

I am late to this but the former PIMCO boss Bill Gross seemed to have some really eccentric ways. The article mentions about starting work before morning in California to be ready for market opening in New York. And the guy once ran 125 miles as a date challenged him to do it — in the process causing himself some kidney damage. The guy does yoga and reports that there are no six pack or one pack guys around. He does famous digressions in his investor letters to talk about his dead cat. At an investor conference recently, he wore sunglasses and compared himself to Justin Bieber. Quite colorful and quite a character, yes? And some fine relationship advice .

I see articles by intelligent ladies on how difficult they are finding it to catch an eligible, smart, intelligent husband. I don't see so many similar perspectives from males. Why so? Anyway, I will try to remedy that here. So the ladies say that the men that they are sought to paired with or matched with tend to be typically dumb, or money-minded, or career-focused, or culturally conservative (plain English --> the usual chauvinistic Indian male who will ONLY marry a virgin female and will have a heart attack at the idea of stuff such open marriage or letting his wife have extramarital affairs and be chill about that) or mama's boys. I agree with all those evaluations of course. But I am not like any of those.

Something from Brain Picker, Maria Popova. From the book Updike : “Updike wasn’t the first in his Ipswich crowd to commit adultery, and it’s possible that he wasn’t even the first in his marriage… He didn’t have to look far to find a lover. Several of the couples had already had affairs before moving to Ipswich, and once they were all settled and best friends, romantic intrigue was very much in the air. It’s safe to say that the group’s unusual closeness (and a large part of the pain that followed) had something to do with the collective willingness to indulge in extramarital sex. This “weave of promiscuous friendship” wasn’t a purely local phenomenon. “Welcome to the post-pill paradise” is perhaps the most famous line from [Updike's 1968 novel] Couples , which Updike set in 1963, three years after he claimed to have first fallen “in love, away from marriage” — and three years after the first birth-control pill was approved for use in the United States. Did the advent of o...

So you think you've found your soulmate -> the guy who has the exact same crazy hobbies as you and wants to spend time doing the exact same goofy things as you do. You were always looking for a partner who was into reading classic literature and now you are sooo looking forward to spending the next months, years, and the lifetime itself together reading wonderful books to each other. But what if your interests doing quite coincide? You are sure you can reconcile your differences? So you're both into Hemingway and Faulkner and not into maudlin romances. But what if one of you suddenly develops a liking for 50 Shades? No gray areas? Well, you never know. You haven't spent 30 years talking about your interests. Indeed, your interests might change as you grow older and who knows, two people might grow old differently. They might be possessed of different demons. So you're both ornithologists. But what if one of you is interested in migratory birds while the other is ...

A huge majority of Indians appear to be stuck in some 19th century mindset when it comes to marriage and sex. I do not know why that is so. Whether it was the British or the Moghuls who made Indians into such boring conservatives or it is a legacy of the Hindu religion. At any rate, it's time to change the rules of the game. No more 'arranged marriages' between a guy and a girl who do not even know each other. No more parents 'deciding.' No more idiotic 'horoscope matching.' No more looking at caste equations. No more dowry negotiations. I propose that marriage be made 'temporary' rather then its present 'permanent' form. Let us have 'stations' in life at various intervals where you can choose to 'get off' the bus or train if you so wish. Let every married couple have the 'option' and the right to leave a marriage at the 1-year interval, then at the 2-year, 3-year, and 5-year intervals. If people stick to ea...

When spouses are concerned, it seems to me that kindness and consideration should be the key words, not loyalty, and  sexual  infidelity does not necessarily wipe them out. Fidelity  in the sense of keeping one's word I respect, but I think it tiresome that it is tied so tightly in people's minds to the idea of sex. The belief that a wife owes absolute  fidelity  to her husband has deep and tangled roots, being based not only on a man's need to know himself to be the father of his wife's child, but also on the even deeper, darker feeling that man  owns  woman, God having made her for his convenience. It's hard to imagine the extirpation of that: think of its power in Islam!

If you are a male of a certain age in India, of course you are seeking a suitable alliance. The below is a compilation of the definitive characteristics of the Indian female. This should help the grooms find and choose their perfect life partner. Girls are traditional … and with a Fair complexion too. They carry Positive attitudes and expect the same. Their Priorities are more to family values and Indian culture. They’re often simple and sober. A beautiful girl of high oral values, strong character, righteous... virtuous... kindhearted, God fearing.... straight forward... traditional values and modern outlook... done PG (anthropology **** University).  They’re sincerely from core and strong will power. They’re god fearing and trust on god very much. They’re very Ambitious. my famly believs in horroscope matching so, please provide ur birth details along with ur inteterest. & those who support dowry... please xcu...

Disclaimer: this is a personal reflection. As I observe a generation grow up in front of my eyes, I marvel at the choices they make. The lure of groupthink, the overwhelming herd mentality leaves me perplexed. I witness the astonishing tenacity of meaningless customs. People grow up in conventional households and acquire some sort of a degree and land some job or the other. Then they fall back on some age old method of finding a wife or a husband as the case may be. When I consider the absolutely inverted logic of arranged marriages, I am flabbergasted that anyone in the modern age would opt for it. And the youngsters are supposed to be educated. Why do they do it? Clearly the desire for sex outweighs the possibilities for pitfalls. Arranged marriages are above all safe choices … as safe as a choice of this sort can be. The alliances tend to take place among people who are already related to each other or belong to the same caste and district.

I am confused. I am perplexed. About many things. I’m confused just thinking whether it’s just me who is like this or everyone else feels some of these emotions as well. I feel confused when I see people going about their daily lives. I see people being busily busy and I am left bewildered. What occurs to me is that there are so many rules of the road about how to live one’s life. And these rules differ from society to society. They vary widely and people in each society follow those implicit rules. Are people undiscerning or is it that those rules make sense to most people? Individuals tend to have an identity of their own in advanced countries such as the United States/Canada and in the countries of Europe. Old civilizations such as India are still quite old-fashioned. Here, society tends to predominate over the individual. Individuals are supposed or expected to mold themselves as per the long-held and therefore (so it’s claimed) tried-and-true norms of society. ...

I am wondering about this "relevant" issue as an Indian. For Indians, life is basically doing things as per predefined "rules" instituted by "sages" and "wise men" from time immemorial. Baiscally, it's a load of crap of course. What is truly saddening is to observe the young generation that thinks it's so "modern" and "hip" behave in the same old asinine ways as their ancestors. I pity this pseudo-modern young generation ... it's of course frustrating as well to see these young chaps so unquestioningly accept such half baked ideas. "Tradition" is this catch-all phrase that is used to include everything including religion and marriage rituals and birth rituals and death rituals and everything in between. I would be truly amazed if youngsters really think that all these hand-me-down stuff must be correct just because everybody else is doing the same thing ... Einstein did not propose his theories of relativ...

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Tara Parker Pope wrote this interesting article and there have been many interesting comments on it ... basically, people sharing their own stories. I thought to post a comment as well and here it is: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/?apage=17#comment-329013

I am amazed at the amount of hold that 'tradition' has on people's mindsets and behavior. Consider the case of rituals associated with Hindu marriages . . . These archaic and moribund activities that go on for many days originated perhaps more than a hundred years ago . . . now, we need to pause and reflect about the quality of the people and the quality of life of the people who lived in those times . . . It would be helpful if you travel to the villages of India today . . . in the 21st century . . . and then try and extrapolate how life must have been like in those villages a hundred years ago and more . . . I am sure it would be unbearable for us to live in those villages in those distant days filled with ignorance and poverty and generally backward conditions. And yet, when it comes to rituals that go on even today, people are uncritical followers of traditions created by these same folks who probably — indeed, not probably, but did think — thought that rainfall was cau...

People of India have decided to go with the status quo by opting for another five years of Congress rule — not that they had any alternatives that are much better. As noted in the last blog post, India is a conundrum ... People in the United States whose jobs have been Bangalored certainly love to hate India ... People in India meanwhile love to admire America ... I am confused about Indians admiring America though ... I am confused about this whole business of India being a 'young' country ... From what I have observed about young Indians, they seem a strange blend of tradition and modernity ... Youngsters don't see any dichotomy in aspiring to all the trappings of material success and yet at the same time they don't mind keeping alive their moribund traditions and rituals ... When it's time for some critical decisions in life — such as marriage — young Indians demonstrate a remarkable resemblance in their mindsets with their ancestors. I find it odd that educated ...